So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
