Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
