five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
