"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
