Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
