smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
