I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
