apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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