Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
