One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
