You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
