I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
