So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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