just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
