there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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