dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
