After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I can't put those talents on a resume
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
