In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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