If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
