you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
