my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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