Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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