Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
