If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
