It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
