East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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