He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
