great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
