Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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