Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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