I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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