I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Non-Jews are for practice
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize