i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
