whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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