I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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