I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
