you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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