she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
