ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
