Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
