Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
