ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
