I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
