Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
