I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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