I'm sorry my penis didn't work
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
