ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
