I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
