okay pat passed out under dana's car
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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