"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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